Worth a thousand words?

It's said that a picture is worth a thousand words... if that's the case then the value of a dollar has greatly decreased in picture land.  All over Facebook there are blurry, poorly composed (aligned in other words) and just lame photos subjects altogether.  I am not taking into account all the duckfaces here, just bad photos.  Are you proud of the photos that didn't turn out?  Do you need to post all 123 pics you took at last weekends ball tournament...

Now I admit to having an outrageous amount of photos on my own Facebook page but they are photos I'm proud of or ones that have been specifically requested.  I have seen so many albums full of blurry consecutive images of two people on the other side of the fire (for example of course).  Yeah sure I'm judgmental since I do consider myself to be somewhat talented as a photographer so I feel confident when I say they are crappy.

To make things a little clearer I'll post some photos I took camping.  Now I would never choose to share these with people, aside from maybe one of them, since they are.. .well crappy!

 

So how many of you have seen pics like this only repeated over and over in someone's album?  I'm sure a lot of you.  It's an epidemic I swear.  I long for the days when the albums had a 60 picture limit...

I know you are but who am I?

I once used a song lyric as a status update on Facebook, well not just once, a lot, but one in particular: "Is this who you are not who you want to be?" - Just Impolite, Plushgun (fun video btw)  A friend's 10 year old daughter commented that she didn't get it (why she's on there is a different topic altogether) and I can understand why.  It's a concept that can be difficult to understand if you've never posed the question to yourself.  Is this who I actually am?  Is there someone else I'm trying to be?

I know from my own experiences that just because I want to come across a certain way doesn't mean that's how it happens.  I recently had a realization that this "person" I thought I was, wasn't actually the case.  It was extremely unnerving but incredibly helpful.  I like knowing the truth instead of living in ignorance.

So what happens when we ask ourselves the question... Am I who I want to be?  I believe that there are cases where once that question is posed the person panics.  They are not who they want to be.  And instead of looking for ways to become that person they want to be, they instead try and make people around them believe what they want to believe.  I would be inclined to say with fairly disastrous results.  The old - They weren't who they said they were.  Well of course not cause when they said it they didn't actually know.

I find the above scenario happens so very often when you are meeting someone new.  Especially if you have a shaky sense of self to begin with.  So many people will say something about themselves in order to appear more "attractive" to the other person (friends, lovers, colleagues) not for once thinking... "hey maybe that's not who I am after all".  When they make a move to become who they really are the other person is left baffled... All of a sudden you've "changed".  But was there really something to change from or was it "missing" all along...

Too big to wrap my head around..

I often wonder what I would be doing had I truly applied myself in school...  Would I be in the sciences?  Most likely yes.  I have always had an interest in the many facets of science and I think if I had put more effort in I would have ended up there.  Most likely not a rocket scientist but something.  Space and the ocean have always had a pull on me.  I can't even begin to count how many various documentaries and shows I've seen from the unknown depths of the sea to the furthest known reaches of the galaxy.  My subscription to Discover gives me even further opportunities to feed this desire.  And that's where I run into a problem...

My brain hurts when I try and understand how big the known universe is.  Watching programs about space (and no not my geek/nerd series - documentaries) seems to provide me with a clearer understanding of the sheer size of the universe whereas the magazine articles send my brain spinning so quickly that I actually have to work at bringing myself back to the solid ground.  And when I start thinking about how big the universe is, the following is usually what happens...

Wow... so if we are *this* small and the universe has that many possibilities then logic says that there are other things out there, but we are really complicated (or so we think) so if we are here the way we are then how is whoever is out there, there for the way THEY are?  And just how did we get here anyways, changing from nothing to something over how many thousands of years, if it takes that many thousands of years then how old is the universe and if the universe is that old...

I think you may be able to see how easy it is for things to spiral out of control in my head.  Maybe my nerd series is a way for me to explore the reaches in a way that doesn't get out of hand.  Well except for my little obsessions...

How are you feeling?

It's interesting how many of us complain or talk about things that are "bothering" us without actually knowing what is really the "bother".  It can be so difficult to properly express what it is we're feeling as it can be difficult to even sort out what those feelings are.  My brain hurts even thinking about all the ways our feelings can be interpreted.

When someone says they are upset what does that really mean?  It could be a myriad of things... Sad, confused, frustrated, angry... the list goes on.  Should we know how to sort out what those emotions are aside from "upset"?  Or should upset be enough?  I don't think it is. 

Many of us find ourselves analyzing things that happen to try and understand the situation but how often do we turn that analysis to how we are feeling about the situation.  A lot of the time the initial description we use to describe how we feel isn't necessarily the case.  Take for example: You meet someone new after being single for awhile and things are going great.  Then one night something is said and it doesn't go over very well.  Many people will describe themselves as feeling "upset"... so as I asked before what does "upset" mean?  Are your sad because what they said hurt your feelings?  Are you angry because boundaries were crossed?  Are you frustrated because you're not feeling heard?  Are you confused because what you believed isn't the case?  All of those things could be happening to you at the same time and since they can all feel or become overwhelming we say we are "upset".  We are - but I think there is more to it.

If you find yourself upset because you are overwhelmed by a jumble of emotions it only stands to reason that if you can sort out WHAT you are feeling you can find a way to bring yourself back down.  If you can utilize the things that "fix" the individual feelings that make up "upset" it again stands to reason that you can tackle each one, one at a time.  Calming each overwhelming emotion will in turn make the next one easier to work with.  Also - forcing yourself to examine the details will put your brain into a more rational, logical state to function on the "high road" instead of the reactive emotional "low road".  A state where emotions aren't trying to describe how they are feeling... how can they... they're emotional?

Am I by default a couch potato?

Does the fact that I really enjoy TV and movies make me a boob tube couch potato?  I really really like getting wrapped up in a series in fact I stayed up until 3:30am last night watching Firefly.  The only reason I went to bed was because I knew I should in order to actually be awake during the day.  Did a similar thing when I first started watching Dexter, but I was working so it was 1am rather than nearly 4...

I may be getting off topic here... Ok back...  So yeah I'm a junkie when it comes to TV.  I do watch some incredibly bad shows but most of them are informational rather than trash - and then of course my nerd series... Maybe the problem is more that I have access to all the episodes instead of having to wait for each new episode.  Oh and the episodes have no commercials so it's easy to go from one to the other right away.  I've actually warned people when I've given them full seasons of Dexter and True Blood to be careful they don't stay up all night watching them and everyone has come back to me and said "Oh man I HAD to turn it off" :)

I'm currently burning Dr. Who season 2 (the episodes I have so far) and once I can properly transfer all of season 1, 2, 3, 4 and the specials I will be in a Dr. Who episode vortex for awhile...

My brain hurts cause I want to watch all these shows but I should really be applying for jobs...

I'm obsessed erm in love?

Oh god I think I may have gone a bit crazy...  Perhaps it's the too much time on my hands, or that I've been living in the land of the single for too long, or even the progression of my nerdness.  Hmmmm I'm guessing it's all three.  I've fallen in love become obsessed with Dr's.  Well one of them WAS a doctor in previous roles and the other is probably the most famous doctor at the moment (aside from perhaps MJ's).

So who am I talking about you ask?  Well the first one is a long time internet stalking focus crush and the second is a recent aquisition ladies and gentleman let me introduce you to Nathan Fillion and Matt Smith or Richard Castle and Dr. Who respectively. *side note that is Captain Hammer not Richard Castle*

Yeah I've been a little obsessed lately, watching interviews and old episodes of various series... I love the fact that I can follow Nathan Fillion on Twitter as well that is just damn cool when you are in love obsessed with a celebrity.

My brain hurts cause they ARE celebrities and not someone I could see on the street and it sucks... Think I'm going to watch some Dr. Who confidential to try and cheer myself up.  Maybe bring myself back to reality.

What is happiness to you?

My brain hurts today because I've been dealing with drama that should have been left behind in junior high... I'm nearly 30 and yet I have been dragged into nonsense created by someone else. Why? Well I only have speculations, speculations that I believe come from a place of awareness. Human behaviour intrigues me and well this behaviour is the most intriguing thus far. Well ok maybe not THE most but pretty close...

Why is it that people who are unhappy with themselves and their lives feel the need to bring down others. I just don't get it... Happiness is what we make out of any given situation... and if you aren't happy in your situation does taking down someone else all of a sudden change things? It doesn't, yet so many people in this world seem to think that it does.  In fact one of my favourite songs asks some questions about happiness I would like to ask a lot of people... for example; "If you're so goddamn perfect how come you're so far from a smile?"

If happiness is a state of mind does that mean those who have a hard time achieving happiness have a skewed state of mind? There are pills and psychiatrists for those states but what about those who cannot or refuse to acknowledge there may be problems? What happens then? Do the people in their lives just follow along and hope for the best? Do they try and help that person realize that there could be something wrong? Can someone look for help when they are blind to their problems?

I think that's the problem. If you are not aware of the things that you are bringing you down you cannot take the necessary steps to change it. And if you are so unaware of the things going on within yourself can anyone else help you? Doubtful...