A hoy hoy... it's been a while... And in that time I realized that maintaining this blog while working is going to be a bit trickier. Not only that but joining a couple new online communities and hearing Nerdist talk about shaking up his own blog, I have decided to change up the format a bit. With working and the past two hectic weekends (Erin got married! Woo!) AND getting sick, my brain has been on auto-pilot. This long weekend is helping get my nerd recharge on.
So what are the changes you ask? Well here's a few ideas I've been bantering around...
- Links, video, images etc. Things I find that I think are interesting.
- Less frequency. I'm going to aim for about 4 days a week. If I can do more great! If not, well I guess my brain isn't hurting too much that week.
- Reviews, upcoming events/releases.
Yeah so same, same but different. See you soon!
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Friday, August 20, 2010
You're still here?
When is enough, enough? One week, one year, one lifetime? It's been over a year since my heart was broken and I thought I was ok with things by now. Well at least enough to not have such a gut wrenching reaction. Alas that is not the case. A few months ago I saw the heartbreaker across the street (living in my neighbourhood doesn't help) and my reaction was so strong and unexpected that it took a while to regain my composure. I was disappointed with myself for still allowing him to have such a strong effect on me and hoped that would be the last time.
Again... alas that is not the case. I knew that by staying in the industry I would run the risk of hearing/seeing him again on a professional level. I haven't yet encountered that, but today I came across a quote request from him and it floored me. Why? Why should an email from him cause such a reaction? It was incredibly unexpected so I'm sure that played a part but again I am disappointed that he still has such an effect on me.
I want to be done with him, over him completely. There's nothing about his actions that deserves space in my brain yet he's still in there! What can I do to rid myself of him? I thought that with enough time passed the effect he has on me would start to fade. It hasn't and I don't know why. Were my feelings for him that strong? Have I not addressed the major issues surrounding the whole thing?
With everything that has gone on in my life that last couple years I think I was avoiding dealing with my feelings towards him to ensure there was enough energy to get me through everything else. I haven't spoken to him since spring of 2009, though I did write a letter outlining what I thought of him and his behaviour to which he replied. Foolish me replied back thinking I could be an exception in his life. At least now I know I never was nor will I ever be.
I had an incredibly positive feeling yesterday, that it's my turn to be happy. After two years of crap with an amazing Olympic experience thrown in (amazing but exhausting) I really do feel it's my turn in life. I will be 30 this coming spring and I'm really getting a handle on who I am and what I want. Much more so than my teens and early twenties. A big part has been simply acceptance. Acceptance of myself, others and the world in general. Maybe that's what I need to do to move on from him. Accept what happened and that he no longer deserves space or energy in my brain. Maybe then my reactions will be more in line with what he deserves... nothing.
Again... alas that is not the case. I knew that by staying in the industry I would run the risk of hearing/seeing him again on a professional level. I haven't yet encountered that, but today I came across a quote request from him and it floored me. Why? Why should an email from him cause such a reaction? It was incredibly unexpected so I'm sure that played a part but again I am disappointed that he still has such an effect on me.
I want to be done with him, over him completely. There's nothing about his actions that deserves space in my brain yet he's still in there! What can I do to rid myself of him? I thought that with enough time passed the effect he has on me would start to fade. It hasn't and I don't know why. Were my feelings for him that strong? Have I not addressed the major issues surrounding the whole thing?
With everything that has gone on in my life that last couple years I think I was avoiding dealing with my feelings towards him to ensure there was enough energy to get me through everything else. I haven't spoken to him since spring of 2009, though I did write a letter outlining what I thought of him and his behaviour to which he replied. Foolish me replied back thinking I could be an exception in his life. At least now I know I never was nor will I ever be.
I had an incredibly positive feeling yesterday, that it's my turn to be happy. After two years of crap with an amazing Olympic experience thrown in (amazing but exhausting) I really do feel it's my turn in life. I will be 30 this coming spring and I'm really getting a handle on who I am and what I want. Much more so than my teens and early twenties. A big part has been simply acceptance. Acceptance of myself, others and the world in general. Maybe that's what I need to do to move on from him. Accept what happened and that he no longer deserves space or energy in my brain. Maybe then my reactions will be more in line with what he deserves... nothing.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Rule Breakers
After reading NML's blog Baggage Reclaim for a couple years now there's one thing she says over and over again. We are not the exception to the rule. Exceptions happen in fairy tales and romantic comedies. Human behaviour is incredibly predictable and routine and it will rarely be the case that the "it could happen" actually happens. We expect to be the exception.
So many conversations about our partners - girls talking about boys in particular - revolve around the hopes and dreams we place on them. The things we want them to be, rather than the people they are. We dream up the rom-com scenarios and imagine our guys moving away from normal and into an exception.
Apparently the rules don't apply to us. Every single one of us. So if the rules don't apply to us, who the hell are they applied to? Rules don't exist unless there are people to follow them. Yet you can put a group of girls into a conversation and there will be multiple exceptions. It cannot possibly happen!
The idea that we will be the expectation is there to prevent us from realizing what is actually happening. A form of denial if you'd like. "It's going to happen/change I just know it!" Sounds a lot like avoiding the inevitable to me. We need to stop expecting to be the exception and start following the rules.
So many conversations about our partners - girls talking about boys in particular - revolve around the hopes and dreams we place on them. The things we want them to be, rather than the people they are. We dream up the rom-com scenarios and imagine our guys moving away from normal and into an exception.
Apparently the rules don't apply to us. Every single one of us. So if the rules don't apply to us, who the hell are they applied to? Rules don't exist unless there are people to follow them. Yet you can put a group of girls into a conversation and there will be multiple exceptions. It cannot possibly happen!
The idea that we will be the expectation is there to prevent us from realizing what is actually happening. A form of denial if you'd like. "It's going to happen/change I just know it!" Sounds a lot like avoiding the inevitable to me. We need to stop expecting to be the exception and start following the rules.
Two'fer info Saturday
A quick note that since I will be starting work this Monday the frequency of these posts will be going down. Hopefully my experience at work and public transit will provide me with plenty of ammo. However, I do know that I will be pretty beat when I get home so unless I can type it all out quickly I may be missing days during the week. This last one has been uhhh - training for all of you... that's right, training.
Yay for working and a paycheque but boo for alarms and wasting days on the interwebs.
Yay for working and a paycheque but boo for alarms and wasting days on the interwebs.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Ratings: Nerd Series
Since this summer has been one of immersion into nerd series it's time I share my feelings and rankings on said series. I will also mention some that I have been watching for a while, some still going and others unfortunately done. One thing I've noticed though is that the nerd series are quite violent. A lot of death, pretty much every episode. But then again so are the CSI, Law & Order, Bones...
1) Doctor Who
- to anyone who knows me or reads this blog you will know by now that I have a slight obsession with this show. Tom was so right, I do love this show and apparently anything that Russell T. Davies has a hand in. I do love Matt Smith as the Eleventh Doctor and I've heard many fans of David Tennant agree that he's doing a bang up job. That being said, I blubbered like a baby when it was time for the Tenth Doctor to regenerate. And it's strange, it's not as if I have to watch every episode to understand since each episode can somewhat stand on its own. I just couldn't stop watching and looking forward to the Christmas special and season six.
2) Fringe
- I started watching this show from the start and loved it. Once the filming moved to Vancouver I was completely hooked. The female lead Olivia Dunham does bother me a bit with her voice but it's only because she's Australian trying to do an American accent. I'm a bit concerned that the plot lines will get a bit convoluted. I was happy to hear Joshua Jackson talk about how he prefers Sci-Fi shows rather than mindless teenage dramas (not the exact words but the meaning which was full of win with the whole "Dawson's Creek") and that he's local. Plus it's all sciency and stuff.
3) Chuck
- so so so happy that the "Save Chuck" campaign worked. Such a great show and you can't help but fall in love with Chuck. So bumbling and nerdy and sweet. The underdog that you root for yet he's gots that intersect thingy which makes him 'special'. Some of the fight scenes are super cheesy but when you factor in the girl's shower and Nicole Richie, well it just works on so many levels. The latest season finale was pretty emotional and I'm wondering what will happen with the Buy-Low gone.
4) Torchwood
- I may move this once I get through season two and three but for now it belongs in the #4 spot. It's a Doctor Who spin-off starring the dashing Captain Jack Harkness. It's been advertised as a dirtier, sxier Doctor Who and it definitely lives up to it. Some F-bombs are dropped, homosexual make-out sessions/relationships and more gore. While it doesn't have the fantasy of traveling with the Doctor, the characters are pretty awesome and the tie-ins to the Whoniverse make it worthwhile. I had the biggest grin last night when I watched an episode where Cpt. Jack heard the TARDIS and then disappeared.
5) Eureka & Warehouse 13
- The two of these are going together because I have some serious issues with minor issues... if that makes sense. I don't like the fact that Warehouse 13 is centered around the US Secret Service. Anything but that.. please? Eureka 13 because I cannot stand one of the female leads, Dr. Alison Blake just bothers me. The stories are pretty awesome and I love the crossover with Claudia & Fargo. Again Eureka is filmed here so that's fun to look for. I actually remember wanting to watch Eureka when it first aired but lost track of it somehow. I'm looking forward to seeing where these two shows go.
6) Firefly & Serenity
- oh Nathan Fillion how do I love thee. I recall Chelsea being really into this show and have heard nothing but good things and again Nathan Fillion *sigh*. Ok so a western in space is somewhat of a far out there idea but it didn't help that the network aired the episodes out of order. I mean come on, the one hour pilot is the last episode you air? How does that even make any sense. It's great that they were able to put together a movie afterward but all the "Browncoats" are fighting a losing battle getting it on the air again.
7) Pushing Daisies
- I really miss this show, it had so much potential. Yes, sometimes the cheesiness was a bit much but it was a truly great show. And just like Arrested Development, the masses didn't get it. A shame that the general public doesn't understand what a great concept is and Pushing Daisies got axed. The whimsy was so much fun and you can never go wrong with a musical number.
8) Lost
- this show pissed me off for a long time. I didn't watch the first or second season catching up on a two hour special instead. I then followed religiously until the end. After a while I started to despise the show, yet I kept watching. I guess I was committed to seeing it through. An accomplishment of sorts you could say. The ending was so-so but I wasn't expecting much with all the plot lines they had to deal with. I did cry at the ending, when people were being reunited... but I'll blame detoxing from the 24 hour relay and it being too early in the AM.
Honorable Mentions:
- Defying Gravity
- Seaquest DSV (I LOVED that show)
- Star Trek TNG
- and I'm sure many others, with short lives.
DISLIKE
- Sanctuary: I heard so many good things about this show that I thought it would be worth it. Suffered through two seasons and still couldn't stomach it.
- Vampire Diaries: I just want to say that I have zero interest in angsty vampires... especially on the WB network. Saw a bit of it only once and had no intention of trying again. True Blood is all the vampire drama I can take.
- V: this started on the Honorable Mentions list and then I thought about it... I don't actually like the show that much. I would follow it when nothing else was airing but yeah its kinda lame.
So there. If anyone is interested in the shows listed above I may have some episodes available to share.
1) Doctor Who
- to anyone who knows me or reads this blog you will know by now that I have a slight obsession with this show. Tom was so right, I do love this show and apparently anything that Russell T. Davies has a hand in. I do love Matt Smith as the Eleventh Doctor and I've heard many fans of David Tennant agree that he's doing a bang up job. That being said, I blubbered like a baby when it was time for the Tenth Doctor to regenerate. And it's strange, it's not as if I have to watch every episode to understand since each episode can somewhat stand on its own. I just couldn't stop watching and looking forward to the Christmas special and season six.
2) Fringe
- I started watching this show from the start and loved it. Once the filming moved to Vancouver I was completely hooked. The female lead Olivia Dunham does bother me a bit with her voice but it's only because she's Australian trying to do an American accent. I'm a bit concerned that the plot lines will get a bit convoluted. I was happy to hear Joshua Jackson talk about how he prefers Sci-Fi shows rather than mindless teenage dramas (not the exact words but the meaning which was full of win with the whole "Dawson's Creek") and that he's local. Plus it's all sciency and stuff.
3) Chuck
- so so so happy that the "Save Chuck" campaign worked. Such a great show and you can't help but fall in love with Chuck. So bumbling and nerdy and sweet. The underdog that you root for yet he's gots that intersect thingy which makes him 'special'. Some of the fight scenes are super cheesy but when you factor in the girl's shower and Nicole Richie, well it just works on so many levels. The latest season finale was pretty emotional and I'm wondering what will happen with the Buy-Low gone.
4) Torchwood
- I may move this once I get through season two and three but for now it belongs in the #4 spot. It's a Doctor Who spin-off starring the dashing Captain Jack Harkness. It's been advertised as a dirtier, sxier Doctor Who and it definitely lives up to it. Some F-bombs are dropped, homosexual make-out sessions/relationships and more gore. While it doesn't have the fantasy of traveling with the Doctor, the characters are pretty awesome and the tie-ins to the Whoniverse make it worthwhile. I had the biggest grin last night when I watched an episode where Cpt. Jack heard the TARDIS and then disappeared.
5) Eureka & Warehouse 13
- The two of these are going together because I have some serious issues with minor issues... if that makes sense. I don't like the fact that Warehouse 13 is centered around the US Secret Service. Anything but that.. please? Eureka 13 because I cannot stand one of the female leads, Dr. Alison Blake just bothers me. The stories are pretty awesome and I love the crossover with Claudia & Fargo. Again Eureka is filmed here so that's fun to look for. I actually remember wanting to watch Eureka when it first aired but lost track of it somehow. I'm looking forward to seeing where these two shows go.
6) Firefly & Serenity
- oh Nathan Fillion how do I love thee. I recall Chelsea being really into this show and have heard nothing but good things and again Nathan Fillion *sigh*. Ok so a western in space is somewhat of a far out there idea but it didn't help that the network aired the episodes out of order. I mean come on, the one hour pilot is the last episode you air? How does that even make any sense. It's great that they were able to put together a movie afterward but all the "Browncoats" are fighting a losing battle getting it on the air again.
7) Pushing Daisies
- I really miss this show, it had so much potential. Yes, sometimes the cheesiness was a bit much but it was a truly great show. And just like Arrested Development, the masses didn't get it. A shame that the general public doesn't understand what a great concept is and Pushing Daisies got axed. The whimsy was so much fun and you can never go wrong with a musical number.
8) Lost
- this show pissed me off for a long time. I didn't watch the first or second season catching up on a two hour special instead. I then followed religiously until the end. After a while I started to despise the show, yet I kept watching. I guess I was committed to seeing it through. An accomplishment of sorts you could say. The ending was so-so but I wasn't expecting much with all the plot lines they had to deal with. I did cry at the ending, when people were being reunited... but I'll blame detoxing from the 24 hour relay and it being too early in the AM.
Honorable Mentions:
- Defying Gravity
- Seaquest DSV (I LOVED that show)
- Star Trek TNG
- and I'm sure many others, with short lives.
DISLIKE
- Sanctuary: I heard so many good things about this show that I thought it would be worth it. Suffered through two seasons and still couldn't stomach it.
- Vampire Diaries: I just want to say that I have zero interest in angsty vampires... especially on the WB network. Saw a bit of it only once and had no intention of trying again. True Blood is all the vampire drama I can take.
- V: this started on the Honorable Mentions list and then I thought about it... I don't actually like the show that much. I would follow it when nothing else was airing but yeah its kinda lame.
So there. If anyone is interested in the shows listed above I may have some episodes available to share.
Monday, August 9, 2010
Congratulations & Tragedy
I've been working on a nerd series rating post the last couple of days but this is more important.
1) I got the job! Wooohoo! So incredibly happy. Almost the exact same timing as last year which is weird.
2) A friend died in a car accident Friday. We weren't friends for a long long time and I never expected to speak to me again until good old Facebook connected us. We spoke and it was really easy, surprisingly so. He owned up to being a dick and we moved on. Spoke a bit online and I did get to hang out with him a few months ago. He may have been trying to pick me up that night but I didn't bite.
I'm really glad that I got over my anger towards him. He was my "first" (shhh don't tell. Whoops!) so it's not as if he was easy to forget. I'm happy we could be friends.
Today has been bittersweet.
1) I got the job! Wooohoo! So incredibly happy. Almost the exact same timing as last year which is weird.
2) A friend died in a car accident Friday. We weren't friends for a long long time and I never expected to speak to me again until good old Facebook connected us. We spoke and it was really easy, surprisingly so. He owned up to being a dick and we moved on. Spoke a bit online and I did get to hang out with him a few months ago. He may have been trying to pick me up that night but I didn't bite.
I'm really glad that I got over my anger towards him. He was my "first" (shhh don't tell. Whoops!) so it's not as if he was easy to forget. I'm happy we could be friends.
Today has been bittersweet.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Who's to say?
With so many discussions about what we should or should not be doing I frequently wonder what people think I may be doing "wrong". Not that I really care but admittedly I have found myself defending my choices in case the other person does have that opinion. So today I'd like to share the things I do that may be perceived as "wrong" by some.
I am doing something wrong because:
- movie & sushi at home is a great Friday night
- I don't want to sit at the beach in the middle of the day for hours
- I smoke
- watching TV is something I truly enjoy
- hanging out is better than a Yaletown "club"
- there's nothing wrong with a responsible hunter and I would go myself, and participate in the rest.
- I read the Province instead of a "real" newspaper
- "still" single
- no interest in desperately searching for a husband
- I still don't know if I want kids
- I have no desire to join a gym, its not about exercise it's just the gym part
- won't even step foot in a Starbucks unless I have to
- don't drink red wine and no real interest in wines.
Now the question is... am I ashamed of these things therefore I believe others will judge me? OR Have my experiences shown me that other people "look down" on those things? Might as well throw a third question in there. Do some people "look down" because they secretly feel the same way and are ashamed themselves?
I am doing something wrong because:
- movie & sushi at home is a great Friday night
- I don't want to sit at the beach in the middle of the day for hours
- I smoke
- watching TV is something I truly enjoy
- hanging out is better than a Yaletown "club"
- there's nothing wrong with a responsible hunter and I would go myself, and participate in the rest.
- I read the Province instead of a "real" newspaper
- "still" single
- no interest in desperately searching for a husband
- I still don't know if I want kids
- I have no desire to join a gym, its not about exercise it's just the gym part
- won't even step foot in a Starbucks unless I have to
- don't drink red wine and no real interest in wines.
Now the question is... am I ashamed of these things therefore I believe others will judge me? OR Have my experiences shown me that other people "look down" on those things? Might as well throw a third question in there. Do some people "look down" because they secretly feel the same way and are ashamed themselves?
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